Non-fat decaf, please

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing. Whatever you got.
-Larry David

...And Corey Hart

You know who wear sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
-Larry David

Open House

Larry: Nice house.
Susie: Yeah, come on. I'll give you a tour.
Larry: Naw, it's ok.
Susie: No, come on.
Larry: No, it's ok. I-I get it.
Susie: You get it?
Larry: Yeah, it's a house. It's new. I get it. It's nice.
Susie: You get it? Ok, you know what? Get the fuck out of my house, Larry.

Girls On Film

[Larry is on the phone ordering a "Girls Gone Wild" tape, using a ridiculous Art Fern type voice] Yes, I was, uh... I was thinking about ordering the tape, the videotape... about the college girls and the... the wild... the wildness. They're going wild or something? Somebody told me... about going wild.
-Larry David

Geopolitics, Larry David-style

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
-Larry David