I need a good attorney. The Menlo Park police just busted me with their high tech gadgetry. They alleged that I ran a red light at 11:33 pm on September 15, 2008. Let's examine the facts:
Picture 1 claims that I was in front of the stop line .29 seconds after the light turned red:
That is ludacrisp. For the record and according to this picture, the light was yellow .29 seconds before I approached the line. I doubt that any high tech wizadry can detect that time differential.
Picture 2 alleges that I am beyond the stop line with the light visibly red. Ok, I can stipulate this. For the record, I am operating within the speed limit at 28MPH in a 50 MPH zone.
Picture 3 needs no explanation. That is unmistakeably my mug - although I argue that there is an uncanny resemblance to Daisuke Matsuzaka. A blatant abuse of power - to denigrate the citizenry like this. Also, for the record, my eyes and mouth are unusually wide because of the blinding flash from the picture. A safety hazard nonetheless and a fact in my favor, IMHO.
Picture 4 tries to tie it altogether by getting a picture of my license plate. I cropped it for privacy reasons. I can respect the logic here. That takes away my Anthony Kim argument as well.
My court date is approaching so I need some legal counsel. There are some good facts in my favor including, without limitation: the fact that I'm driving a Prius, the fact that I'm operating within the speed zone and the fact that I am driving home from Oakland to the Peninsula after an 8 hour flight on JetBlue visiting the parents, bless their heart. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Seeking Lionel Hutz
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9 comments:
the facts don't lie ... you are not above the law.
You need the late Johnny Cochran, its obviously a racial witch hunt. Do you think white people are subjected to these egrigious injustices?
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind....
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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