Code of Conduct

Mr. Lippman: It's come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?
George Costanza: Who said that?
Mr. Lippman: She did.
George Costanza: [pause] Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

...And Corey Hart

You know who wear sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
-Larry David

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Ernie Johnson: "Did you even graduate from Auburn?"
Charles Barkley: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

Oops! I did it again, eh?

I get to go to lots of overseas places - like Canada.
-Britney Spears

Too Little, Too Late

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
-Stephen Wright

"Got Milk?" according to Ari Gold

Got MILF?
-Ari Gold

Open House

Larry: Nice house.
Susie: Yeah, come on. I'll give you a tour.
Larry: Naw, it's ok.
Susie: No, come on.
Larry: No, it's ok. I-I get it.
Susie: You get it?
Larry: Yeah, it's a house. It's new. I get it. It's nice.
Susie: You get it? Ok, you know what? Get the fuck out of my house, Larry.