Seeking Lionel Hutz

I need a good attorney. The Menlo Park police just busted me with their high tech gadgetry. They alleged that I ran a red light at 11:33 pm on September 15, 2008. Let's examine the facts:

Picture 1 claims that I was in front of the stop line .29 seconds after the light turned red:

That is ludacrisp. For the record and according to this picture, the light was yellow .29 seconds before I approached the line. I doubt that any high tech wizadry can detect that time differential.

Picture 2 alleges that I am beyond the stop line with the light visibly red. Ok, I can stipulate this. For the record, I am operating within the speed limit at 28MPH in a 50 MPH zone.


Picture 3 needs no explanation. That is unmistakeably my mug - although I argue that there is an uncanny resemblance to Daisuke Matsuzaka. A blatant abuse of power - to denigrate the citizenry like this. Also, for the record, my eyes and mouth are unusually wide because of the blinding flash from the picture. A safety hazard nonetheless and a fact in my favor, IMHO.


Picture 4 tries to tie it altogether by getting a picture of my license plate. I cropped it for privacy reasons. I can respect the logic here. That takes away my Anthony Kim argument as well.


My court date is approaching so I need some legal counsel. There are some good facts in my favor including, without limitation: the fact that I'm driving a Prius, the fact that I'm operating within the speed zone and the fact that I am driving home from Oakland to the Peninsula after an 8 hour flight on JetBlue visiting the parents, bless their heart. Wish me luck.