F*&% You, Green Team!

From FunnyOrDie...

Disaster Averted

While shopping for my wife's xmas gift, I was going to get these because I thought they were trendy, fashionable, etc. The salesperson fortunately told me that this would send the absolute wrong message. Thank you, salesperson. Will try to pay it forward.

Sports Guy on Dwight Howard

Disclosure: I'm a Christian

One other bonus with Howard that nobody mentions: Because he's a devout Christian, even when he turns 35 in 2020, those will be Christian years -- he won't have any of that smoking-drinking-partying mileage on him, which means he could play at a high level until his early-40s (much like how Kurt Warner keeps chugging along at age 36). In other words, Howard could and should shatter nearly every rebounding record if he stays healthy, and even if he averages a 23-13 for the next 12 years (a conservative guess), when you throw in his previous three seasons, Howard would suddenly be in striking distance of two-thirds of the conceivable NBA records that ever meant anything.

Tiger on Ellen

Not a huge Ellen fan but I'm a big Tiger fan. We share the same hairline.

Dr Ken Jeong

My hero.