I Put My Pants On One Leg At a Time

And Gene...really, explore the space.

Quitting My Job

You cannot spell "dishonorable" without spelling "honorable."
-Homer S.

Mark Wahlberg as Dignam

Some profanity. Right in my sweet spot.

Best Regards,
The Guy Who Did His Job

David Lee, M.S.E.E., J.D.

Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.
-Marge Simpson

Funny Because It's True

Hey, you know the old saying that the camera adds 10 pounds? Apparently Greg Gumbel is being filmed by 20 cameras right now.
-Bill Simmons

Listening to Prozac

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds—pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum…it’s breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.
-Dr. Evil

Skittlebrau

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Annual Review Time

Weaknesses = Exczema

Bus Dev 101

My favorite commercial